Post by outsydr on Feb 14, 2006 7:41:16 GMT -8
21 ways to be a good Democrat
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and
governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists, who have never been outside of San Francisco, do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy.[/color][/b]
21 ways to be a good Republican
1. You have to care passionately about the welfare of human being all the way up until it is born, and then don't give them any other considerations.
2. You have to believe that businesses are above the law, and so are governments (as long as there's a "War on Drugs" or a "Ware on Terror" to excuse an illegal activity).
3. You have to believe that that the Constitutional right to bear arms extends to every law-abiding white Christian American.
4. You have to have no appreciation for art beyond its financial aspects.
5. You have to not worry about the cumulative impact of global warming until it causes damage to something you own, or affects you personally.
6. You have no problem with gender or sex issues, just so long as a woman knows her place and no “queers” talk to you.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by homosexual or minority promiscuity, and not by inherently responsible straight white Christians.
8. You have to believe that teachers are paid to do one thing: make sure that YOUR KID gets preferential treatment.
9. You have to believe that loony activists are more dangerous than the unrestrained activities of the logging, mining and petroleum industries.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem isn't as important as the money your daddy spent to buy it for you.
11. You have to believe that "The Passion of the Christ" is more than just a movie, and that Mel Gibson would ever consider being the next Schwartzenegger.
12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe high ATM fees are just a sign of corporations exercising their rights contain operational costs, but tax money is always unjustified.
14. You have to believe that ‘old dead white guys’ (per Charton Heston) are more important to American history than anyone else.
15. You have to be among the first to shout about ‘unfair’ racial or sexual quotas when minorities get an advantage, yet be among the last to admit that white Christian men still have more ‘unfair’ advantages than anyone else in the world.
16. You have to endlessly question the strength, intelligence, education and drive of the likes of Hillary Clinton, Ruth Bader-Ginsberg, Madelyn Albright and Janet Reno as abnormal, yet allow tons of respect for Ann Coulter or Condoleeza Rice.
17. You have to believe that the American version of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ is the only real version of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’, and that that version can be made to work anywhere in the world (whether the locals want it or not).
18. You have to believe liberals trying to save the lives of other Americans are unpatriotic and belong in France, but a lying, drunken drug addict belongs in the White House.
19. You have to believe that Christianity is a precious treasure to all of mankind, and therefore should legally protected and inviolable as the Constitution, but eternally ridicule any other belief system or form of expression as deviant.
20. You have to believe that illegal wire-tapping of American citizens, indefinite detention of so-called “enemy combatants”, or waging illegal war on sovereign nations is somehow in the best interest of not just the United States, but the rest of world.
21. You have to believe that ANYTHING you don’t agree with or find to be objectionable is part of a vast, left wing conspiracy.[/color][/b]
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and
governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by
soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists, who have never been outside of San Francisco, do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.
Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy.[/color][/b]
21 ways to be a good Republican
1. You have to care passionately about the welfare of human being all the way up until it is born, and then don't give them any other considerations.
2. You have to believe that businesses are above the law, and so are governments (as long as there's a "War on Drugs" or a "Ware on Terror" to excuse an illegal activity).
3. You have to believe that that the Constitutional right to bear arms extends to every law-abiding white Christian American.
4. You have to have no appreciation for art beyond its financial aspects.
5. You have to not worry about the cumulative impact of global warming until it causes damage to something you own, or affects you personally.
6. You have no problem with gender or sex issues, just so long as a woman knows her place and no “queers” talk to you.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by homosexual or minority promiscuity, and not by inherently responsible straight white Christians.
8. You have to believe that teachers are paid to do one thing: make sure that YOUR KID gets preferential treatment.
9. You have to believe that loony activists are more dangerous than the unrestrained activities of the logging, mining and petroleum industries.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem isn't as important as the money your daddy spent to buy it for you.
11. You have to believe that "The Passion of the Christ" is more than just a movie, and that Mel Gibson would ever consider being the next Schwartzenegger.
12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe high ATM fees are just a sign of corporations exercising their rights contain operational costs, but tax money is always unjustified.
14. You have to believe that ‘old dead white guys’ (per Charton Heston) are more important to American history than anyone else.
15. You have to be among the first to shout about ‘unfair’ racial or sexual quotas when minorities get an advantage, yet be among the last to admit that white Christian men still have more ‘unfair’ advantages than anyone else in the world.
16. You have to endlessly question the strength, intelligence, education and drive of the likes of Hillary Clinton, Ruth Bader-Ginsberg, Madelyn Albright and Janet Reno as abnormal, yet allow tons of respect for Ann Coulter or Condoleeza Rice.
17. You have to believe that the American version of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ is the only real version of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’, and that that version can be made to work anywhere in the world (whether the locals want it or not).
18. You have to believe liberals trying to save the lives of other Americans are unpatriotic and belong in France, but a lying, drunken drug addict belongs in the White House.
19. You have to believe that Christianity is a precious treasure to all of mankind, and therefore should legally protected and inviolable as the Constitution, but eternally ridicule any other belief system or form of expression as deviant.
20. You have to believe that illegal wire-tapping of American citizens, indefinite detention of so-called “enemy combatants”, or waging illegal war on sovereign nations is somehow in the best interest of not just the United States, but the rest of world.
21. You have to believe that ANYTHING you don’t agree with or find to be objectionable is part of a vast, left wing conspiracy.[/color][/b]