Growing girls

[Husky23]

So…my 16 year old daughter and I are leaning against the counter, hanging out in the kitchen late last night, and chit-chatting. She was motor mouthing about school, friends, boys, and such. Then she gets off on a tangent about how she notices the lack of simple human common courtesy in kids these days; the impoliteness, lack of consideration, poor manners and such. The more she talks about it more agitated about it she is becoming, then:

“Man! It really pisses me off that a lot of teenagers act like selfish spoiled 5 years olds.”

I kinda glance over at my next youngest daughter sitting at the dining room table putting a puzzle together. She does one of these as my oldest is finishing with her rant.

After the oldest finishes, I put in my 2 cents about today’s common courtesy. Then, I look at my second oldest doing the puzzle and say “Did you hear the language your sister used? She tentatively nods.
My oldest is looking on questioningly “What? What did I say?”

I explained and indicated at startled me slightly because that is the first time I’ve heard that kind of language from her - EVER. Her face turns several shades of red and she profusely apologizes.

“Hey, last week temp drivers license, this week coarse language, next week new bra size – your growing up babe. Oh, and by the way, stop taking my razor and using it for your legs, that pisses me off.” >wink<

[cameron]

That reminds me of a story. Sunday was for our family when I was growing up, the day everyone sat down together for a formal Sunday dinner. Our father was very strict about it, 6pm every Sunday dressed casual but neat and clean all table manners and etiquette to be strictly enforced.

So anyway I was 19 years old and had been working in the steel mill for about 6 months and in case you did not know every second word out of everyone mouth was f that and shat this. At first it really bothered me, but after awhile I didn't even hear it. As the food is being passed around the table I was having difficulty getting any mash potato's. Finally I have to ask for them specifically when all the sudden everyone stops dead and starts starring at me then my father, then back at me. Mystified I ask what's the problem, when my father looks at me and tells me I just asked for the f-ing mash potato's. I was absolutely mortified. My father then laughed and said he understood but that I was going to need to apologize to everyone at the table and to work harder at not letting the guys in the mill have to much influence over me.

[LorSpi]

And a happy happy to all you wonderful fathers out there today!

There's something about teenage girls and their fathers. Which is probably why they use to arrange marriages for them when they were 12.

I confess to a "creative" use of many words based on the old Anglo Saxon. But I have also found that swearing does tend to calm me done - and so I tend to talk and swear while driving. "What do you think you are doing?*@#%%$". But then wait calmly until he or she is finished performing their antics.

With that as background - I was at my parents and my mother had ask me to show her how to check the oil. So we pop the hood and proceeded with instructions. My 4 year old daughter comes along and hugs her grandmother, who then tells her - "This is the hood of the car."

"No, grandma. That's the asshole".

Hhmmm - I guess that's what she thought I was talking about when I was leaning forward in traffic, addressing....

My mom did have a difficult time keeping a straight face while giving me the lecture about talking like that in front of a child.

That said - I was rigorous about language when my daughter was in high school. It didn't hurt that she had spent some time seeing formality - the Embassy and all. But the big thing - impressions do make a difference. Nothing looks more common and low life than a teenager swearing. That did register somewhat. And I would nail her every time - so if I thought I heard her say "shit" she'd insist that it was a shoot - but point was made.

Inside voice, outside voice. Then public language, adult language, friends language.

I do think that it is harder because there are fewer lines visible. I mean - pajama pants as a fashion statement? I want to see your shorts riding up over your trousers? It's hard to teach appropriateness when all the media and their friends (and some of the parents of their friends) are behaving in such a fashion. I mean - Dear Lord - is there anything uglier than the naval of an 8 month pregnant woman? Now yes life processes are special to those involved. But at a supermarket? In the mall?

You are a good patient father Husky -and your daughter no doubt adores you and hangs on to your every word. She'll do better in life because of you.

[Husky23]

I did nearly the exact same thing upon visiting my folks after my first year away in the Army. It was the normal strident passionate exchange at the table – I couldn’t get a word in edgewise and wanted to finish preparing my plate with Momma’s wonderful cooking.

“HEY! Please pass the F%@#$&* whatever.”

Silence…stares…is that a needle I heard drop?

“Ummm..Opps, sorry, damn………oh, shit……ummmmmmm, never mind.”

I meekly resume eating. I think it was mashed potatoes also! Or, maybe the corn bread - ROFL.

Nothing like that Army potty mouth. Fortunately, as I grew older it could get left at the office, well…most of the time.

[Husky23]

Thanks for the vote of confidence Lor

It’s odd. All those things you mention. Kids pick up on their parent’s behavior and in many cases mimic it.

I’ve tried (in my clumsy manner) to instill and portray in action those “Inside voice, outside voice. Then public language, adult language, friend’s language” to my kids. Respect, courtesy, politeness and what not. It does please me to see my daughter's making the distinction and even recognizing that bad manners and impressions are not a quality trait. We’ll see how it all turns out.

Oh gee – check this out. Kids honesty and directness in action teaches Dad a lesson. So, years ago I take my girls grocery shopping, they are about 6 and 5 years old respectively. I got em riding in the cart and we see this elderly lady shopping that’s woefully out of shape, more like grossly obese. My oldest says something to the effect that that lady is “big”, then I quietly remark “Fat is more like it. And she doesn’t need that family sized box of Twinkies and those bags of potato chips, that’s for sure.” We completed our shopping, and lo and behold who do end up in line at the register? Ahhh, ya. So this woman begins playful chat with my little girls, you know: “Ohhh, they’re so cute” “What’s your names?” la la la, like that. Shortly thereafter, the idle chat abrupty ends with my daughter announcing to the woman: “You’re fat.”
Opps. The woman is shocked and offended. All I can muster while holding back giggles is a stunned “Casandra!!!” as I sheepishly corral my kids and try and apologize.

So we had our first discussion of courtesy, respect, proper places for proper language. And, of course, I learned to watch more closely my words and actions around my kids.

[ReformedLiberal]

cameron said:

That reminds me of a story. Sunday was for our family when I was growing up, the day everyone sat down together for a formal Sunday dinner. Our father was very strict about it, 6pm every Sunday dressed casual but neat and clean all table manners and etiquette to be strictly enforced.

So anyway I was 19 years old and had been working in the steel mill for about 6 months and in case you did not know every second word out of everyone mouth was f that and shat this. At first it really bothered me, but after awhile I didn't even hear it. As the food is being passed around the table I was having difficulty getting any mash potato's. Finally I have to ask for them specifically when all the sudden everyone stops dead and starts starring at me then my father, then back at me. Mystified I ask what's the problem, when my father looks at me and tells me I just asked for the f-ing mash potato's. I was absolutely mortified. My father then laughed and said he understood but that I was going to need to apologize to everyone at the table and to work harder at not letting the guys in the mill have to much influence over me.

Reminds me of a joke. Every Saturday a father would take his son fishing for trout in a stream not far from their house. One year, their had been a drought and the stream ran nearly dry. So the father took the son to the reservior to fish from the rim of the dam. When they got home, the mother asked where the bass came from. "We caught those at the dam," said the son. At the table that night, the mother asked the son to pass the "dam fish", and the son replied, "Sure Mom, if you'll pass the f-ing potatoes."

[Husky23]

What the hell?? Remey, we go from innocent teenage girl/family anecdotes to ‘fuckers’?

Hmmmm….Ok, I can make the connection – you sick bastard you.

But….I’m truly digging it jumped to flying

Next…

A young guy in an F-16 fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot."
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."

[LorSpi]

remey688 said:

The thread reminds me of an old WWII British joke. The Gladsbury Church outside of London invited the RAF's famous Flying Officers Johnson to address the woman's league. In the question and answer series that followed someone asked Flying Officer Johnson what his most daunting experience was in the air. He began saying I was at 20,000 feet over the Channel and looked over my shoulder to see five fuckers coming up and closing on my tail. The Minister charmed saying "Ladies, Fockers are a type of German aircraft.
Flying Officer Johnson's reply was: "Yes quit so, except these particular fuckers were flying Messerschmitts.

That's suppose to be a thumbs up but I don't know........

[Husky23]

"Yes quit so, except these particular fuckers were flying Messerschmitts.

That's suppose to be a thumbs up but I don't know........

Now, don’t let your imagination run away with you – like Remey did.

[LorSpi]

husky23 said:

What the hell?? Remey, we go from innocent teenage girl/family anecdotes to ‘fuckers’?

Hmmmm….Ok, I can make the connection – you sick bastard you.

But….I’m truly digging it jumped to flying

Next…

A young guy in an F-16 fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot."
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."

Definitely smooth. Air Force. Can't tell when the wheels touch.

[LorSpi]

[Husky23]

pushing the blood all over

Now this...tends to move blood to the nether regions.

[LorSpi]

You sure that's blood migrating south?

[Remey688]

I missed my opportunity to change the title after simply hiting reply. I sometimes don't think ahead in this electronic era. No reflect was meant. I also didn't realize what folder I was in. I have no excuse! I've removed the post for obvious reasons. Thank you for kicking me in the as-hole.

husky23 said:

What the hell?? Remey, we go from innocent teenage girl/family anecdotes to ‘fuckers’?

Hmmmm….Ok, I can make the connection – you sick bastard you.

But….I’m truly digging it jumped to flying

Next…

A young guy in an F-16 fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot."
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did you do?"
"I just shut down two engines, kid."

[Husky23]

remey688 said:

I missed my opportunity to change the title after simply hiting reply. I sometimes don't think ahead in this electronic era. No reflect was meant. I also didn't realize what folder I was in. I have no excuse! I've removed the post for obvious reasons. Thank you for kicking me in the as-hole.

Oh...now that's entirely fucked up.

Sheesh - could anyone see my jestful sarcasm? huh? Could ya? could ya? huh?